dolosa: (☣ no need to ask)
hazama rei ❤ 羽佐間レイ ([personal profile] dolosa) wrote2015-08-28 07:36 pm

( it's alright, it's okay, i'm so much better without you )

[ Her voice in this message is actually different than usual. In fact, Hajime might recognize it as the same tone that she used before she died, rather than her meek tone. ]

If you're listening to this, I'm probably dead. No -- I'm definitely dead.

This means that you're probably wanting to know the truth about me. I presume that the person who is listening to this is Hajime-kun, and if it is, I'm glad. I don't know when I'll die, but if you're listening to this message, it means I have yet to tell you the truth about myself. You see, I'm not a very nice person.

You've already heard my story. About my work, and how I was bullied. About how it all drove my parents to attempt a group suicide. The game. However, there are some things you don't know. Some things I purposely left out.

A few months after my parents died, I attempted suicide. I was sick of this world. I had to live in a place where my mama and papa were dead, in a world without them, without those I love. I walked in front of a car, but I miraculously survived. I was put in a wheelchair for several months. It was then when I thought long and hard about it all.

I was meant to live.

So, what would be my purpose, then? I decided that I'd use them. I'd send my feelers out into the world, using my supposed fake "hypnotism" and take control of those who had lost people like I did. I gave them the salvation of the wolf. Once I did that, I set my plan into action. I'd get my revenge on those people who had called me a liar by using what they thought was fake to begin with. I set out to kill all the liars, by using those who had lost, who had grieved over the death of their loved ones. Of course, I never killed them myself.

You know the game I talked about -- the one that happened in reality -- I was the one who set it all up. Mitsuki-san was the wolf for that game. I've done games like this multiple times. They might be running on their own even now, regardless of the fact that I'm dead. And they won't end. It'll go on forever.

That's why I'm apologizing now. Don't worry though; my feelings for you weren't fake, Hajime-kun. In fact, you're probably one of the first people that I actually dared to care about. Maybe if I didn't die, you would have been the one to change me.

But I suppose we won't know now. I'm sorry that I'm dead. And I'm sorry I didn't get to help you get your memories back like I promised I would.

And I'm sorry for loving you, Hajime. You deserve someone better than me.

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